You might not believe a lot of things in the Bible, but here’s a truth you can absolutely be sure of:

The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.

 All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles, and sea creatures are being tamed and have been tamed by mankind, but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. (James 3:6-8)

YEP, I prove that almost every day in my marriage. After 54 years, I have not tamed that little beast inside my mouth. I say, each day, I’m gonna reign it in, put a harness around it, everything short of cutting it off. (I didn’t need to write that.)

I know it starts with the mind. But somehow by the time the thought, the feeling gets to my tongue, any good intentions have been short-circuited.

Oh, and the rule of waiting 10 seconds to speak? Forget it. 

So I have devised a list of better thoughts after the little monster gets loose. Here they are: Feel free to use any of them. They are on my refrigerator as multiple choice, including ‘all the above’.

I’M SORRY.

I DIDN’T MEAN IT.

MY BAD

I’LL TRY TO BE BETTER

PLEASE FORGIVE ME

IT’S ALL MY FAULT.

And…. I LOVE YOU.

Some rules of the road. 

1. Listen a lot
2. Don’t be contrary or correcting even if you know you are right.
3. Find time to discuss stuff
4. Listen a lot
5. Don’t walk away
6. Listen a lot
7. Don’t interrupt
8. Try a little humility
9. Listen a lot
10. Your turn