Tag: shame

ON BEING GOOD TO YOURSELF

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My therapist often tells me I am too often unkind to myself. He’s right. More often than not I take shame and guilt into myself. I can always think of things I should have done differently. At times I think I am failing God somehow. Situations I’ve gotten myself into tend to weigh on me. 

So here’s the story: One day, I was getting my hair cut when my stylist asked me what New Year’s resolutions I had made. I responded, “None.” After thinking for a moment, I told her I had decided to be kinder to myself. She began to cry. 

She told me that she needed that. I said, ‘God doesn’t do shame and guilt. God is love and wants us to know his love.’ She continued to weep, fortunately not dropping her tears on my newly shaped hair. She had ‘gotten herself’ into some unfortunate circumstances and was feeling the burden within her. I told her I would pray for her and….more tears. I then prayed for her and told her to embrace God’s love. She responded that she wanted to be more grateful in this life.

As I left the salon I realized I needed to take seriously for myself what I told this young woman. I cannot wallow in Pig Stink like the Prodigal Son that Jesus spoke about in Luke 15. No, God wants better for us. God wants us to flourish, not flounder. 

So every day of my existence I am going to be grateful for how much God loves me. Shame, self-doubt, and guilt are tools of evil turning us against ourselves instead of letting us gratefully receive God’s embrace of love.

There’s my NEW YEAR pledge. I choose love (God’s love).  For me and yes, for others. 

GOD IS MY HELP

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Isaiah 50

The Lord GOD is my help,therefore I am not disgraced;I have set my face like flint,knowing that I shall not be put to shame. vs. 7

THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD I SHALL NOT WANT  Psalm 23

If I am at all conscious of God’s sovereignty and grace I pray to realize that I have no need for all my ego defenses or selfish desires because the Lord is all I need. Some translate that first verse of Psalm 23 as ‘the Lord is my shepherd, I have everything that I need.’

Truly God is good and gracious.

There is nothing anyone can do or say to me that can disgrace me or put me to shame. Look at the Passion of Christ in this Holy Week.  See how they tormented him, spit on him and tried their best to shame him but he well knew that his Father’s acceptance and love was all that he needed. Eternity belonged to him. The Kingdom was his and no one could take it away from him.

Why then these petty thoughts of mine about what people think of me or if I am being treated fairly? Why defensive about my rights? God is my help. I have no need of anything else do I?

I need to pray daily that the Christ who gave up everything might live in me with the same love that he knew from the Father.

My Lord is guiding every step I take. And even when I wander he is beside me and he will bring me back into his fold. What else do I need or need to know.  When Christians are mocked they sometimes become argumentative or defensive or even intimidated but I don’t need that. Jesus, it is said, never really made any argument or defense on his own behalf.  He knew he could call twelve legions of angels to help him.  He knew that the Kingdom he inaugurated on earth was his Father’s kingdom and there was no need for anything else.

Why must I attempt to build my own Kingdom at times and wall it off from those who might hurt me in some way? I have no need of my own castle. I belong to the Kingdom of God. That is the Kingdom I want to seek more than anything else.

God loves me….and everyone of you, more than we can understand. This week  is Passion Week, Holy Week and the celebration of Christ’s ultimate victory in which you and I stand forever. Offer your own prayer, or read the stories from the Gospels of his passion and ask that you and I may be able to say to our Father, no matter the circumstances, “Thy will be done.” Amen.

 

Deadly Distractions

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More than 3000 people were killed in 2012 in car crashes attribute to distractions while driving. Many more were injured because when driving our cars we should be focused on the road and the route but many of us do things like drink our coffee, put on our make-up, read bits of the newspaper lying in our laps, use our cellphones and probably worst of all ‘text’.  Even adjusting our radio is enough to take our eyes off the road for that split second that could mean life or death, to us or to another driver.

And now I want to suggest, as part of my series on Road Grace that driving our car is somewhat analogous to our life as a follower of Jesus. Distractions on the journey of discipleship may not seem to lead to a deadly outcome but if they separate us from the walk that we intend with Jesus, well, we might just end up lost or even worse.

So let’s consider distractions to living the life of a follower of Jesus. I suspect that pride is right up there at number one.  It’s hard to think of others when you are too busy thinking about yourself.  It’s hard to listen to others with a sense of respect when all you care about is the sound of your own voice. I know. I have done it and realized too late how uncaring I seemed to the other person.

Anger is distracting. So is lust. So are material possessions. Worry is distracting taking our eyes off our relationship with Jesus and his direction because we are too busy thinking about tomorrow.  Guilt is a distraction from the joy of a relationship with a loving God who forgives so completely.  Busyness and hurrying are distractions to the time we could spend loving others and loving God.

I believe that Satan isn’t as dark and malicious as some movies portray him. He has only to ‘distract’ us for a moment.  I am recalling (I hope correctly) that in one of Screwtape’s letters to his younger colleague he argues that when the patient (a new Christian) is reading the Bible all the colleague has to do is distract him with hunger so he will stop reading and probably not get back to it. How often has that happened to us where our devotions are interrupted never to be visited again that day?

Distraction is what Satan was about in the temptation of our Lord, distraction from the purpose for which Jesus came to our world.

Shame is one of the greatest distractions of the devil. Thinking that God couldn’t love us or care for us because of our character, or some bad deed or something someone has said to us.  Shame takes our eyes off God’s love and places that sight back on ourselves that we are not good enough.

So be careful in your walk with Christ not to be distracted to the right or the left but to stay on the path with Jesus, doing what he has said and trusting his love more than we trust anything else. Let’s keep our eyes on Christ.

Hey, we want to get to our destination whole.