The above statement is true because there is so much about which I am uncertain. I am a devoted follower of Jesus.  But, since Jesus’ time and teaching, so much dogma, interpretation and differences in thinking have made my head spin. I want to know God more deeply. I am curious about so much. I know that curiosity killed the cat, which is sad news for cat lovers, but that curiosity only leads me deeper into the love of God.

Some people outside Christianity may be curious, skeptical, or cynical. It doesn’t help when Christians say’ It’s a mystery, just believe, or all God’s will. No, not for me. I’ve seen and heard too much in this world NOT to ask questions. I believe that asking leads to receiving and seeking leads to finding and finding the depths of God’s will and life are on my bucket list.

Here’s a large sampling of my questions:

*Why is there such a violent image of God in the Old Testament compared to the loving Jesus in the New Testament?

*Why is there such suffering in our world when we clearly see Jesus heal suffering, and diseases and cast out the demonic? Is it God’s will that we suffer?

*What about heaven and hell? 

*Are our lives predetermined by God?

*Are the other religions wrong? Why do we think that a stated belief in Jesus is the only way to salvation?

*Is the Bible without error? Where did that doctrine even come from? Or is there a difference between inerrant (without error) and ‘inspired’? 

*Is there a possibility of purgatory after death? (purification)

*Does God ever stop trying to bring people into a relationship with himself, even after death?

*Are there things God cannot do unilaterally? 

*What about people who could not come to faith in this life? Will there be an opportunity after death?

*What about the devil? Was he defeated? Why is he still roaming around?

*What about the violence done in Jesus’ name? Was it ever morally right?

*Is our life a blueprint or a work in progress?

*Can gay marriage be within God’s plan at this point in time?

*The judgment. What is it really and how does judgment square with the love of God that keeps no record of wrongs and forgives the worst offenders like those who killed Jesus?

*Is there such a thing as luck, bad luck, or chance?

*Won’t God reconcile this whole creation back to himself at the end?

There is much more but my last question is this: Will I be judged for writing all this?

Yes, I am an agnostic follower of Jesus desiring to discover the God who loves me and, I believe, all creation. 

But as the old monk, Anselm, wrote –  “faith seeks understanding” and to understand is my goal.

Don’t be afraid to be curious or even skeptical. God loves that about us. That’s how relationships work.